I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
