I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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