grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
we're making bets on your personal life
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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