9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
