I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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