marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
