Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
The air taste purple.
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