I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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