last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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