I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
