Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Randomize
