You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
