I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
