try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
