So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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