I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
