i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
