It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
