I hope mine doesn't look like that
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
