Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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