i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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