saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
