just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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