i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
