spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
this beer tastes like vomit already
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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