Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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