Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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