I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize