WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
