Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
