She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
