i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
birth control should be required to get into college
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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