They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
