So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
