they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
