i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i think i have two assholes
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
