Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
