"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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