one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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