this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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