another moral hangover. fuck.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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