she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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