U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
