So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
