We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
