sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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