If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
