just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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