dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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