Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You're like the curious george of whores
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
