If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
