My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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