ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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