Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
