I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
