i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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