guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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