i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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