She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
