i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i believe in u and ur pee
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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