eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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